We are trying three times this cycle -- Friday night, Saturday morning, and Monday night. Oh, and why are we doing ICI instead of IUI you might ask? For one, I don't have fertility problems (as evidenced by my getting pregnant accidentally while on birth control) so there is no reason ICI shouldn't take. Second, the fertility doc Kira sees doesn't "do" surrogates. Seriously. These people will set you up with egg donors, with sperm donors (from a bank), ICI, IUI and IVF. But not with a surrogate. Is this some weird religious or moral thing that I am missing? If you're going to make baby-making scientific, why not get fun with it, right? So of course, the angry lawyer that I am (I mean, I am CONFIDENT IUI would take the first time), I called the doctor's office to demand an explanation. The receptionist told me the doctor didn't have a private voicemail (I refuse to believe that), and connected me to the business manager, who basically told me that it would take too long and be too expensive to get the legal documents necessary to do surrogate insemination. I asked, well what if the IP (Intended Parents) have their own attorney doing the legal work? (i.e., me, the one getting knocked up). The business manager said that wasn't enough for them, they needed to protect themselves from liability.
I GUESS I can understand. . .I mean, theoretically, I could steal the child and Scott could sue the doctor for putting his sperm into this crazy broad, but wouldn't a simple waiver solve that problem? This is not an issue I've researched the legality of, really I've been looking more for the scientific and emotional information.
So I had Kira call the office back -- they had just heard my voice, after all -- and ask whether they would do IUI with a private sperm donor, not from a bank. (We were thinking I'd just bring in Scott's baby batter and say the baby was for me). Again, no. Same reason.
So back to square one. ICI.
From our extensive scientific research (i.e. googling other women's experiences, trying to figure out the best way to go about this whole process), Kira and I learned -- over Valentine's Day chocolate-covered strawberries -- that you should try to inseminate the day before ovulation, the day of ovulation, and the next two-three days. According to my handy-dandy fertility calendar, I will ovulate on Monday. The problem here is that we are using fresh sperm - that should optimally be used within 12 hours of production. Scott is out of town until Thursday night or Friday morning this week, and leaves again Monday morning - Thurs/Fri again. And I am leaving Saturday morning until Monday night.
BUT. Sperm can live in a happy fertile welcoming uterus for about 5 days, so if we are successful Friday or Saturday, or even Monday, our chances look pretty good.
Scott will be traveling for work. Where will I be? With my fantastic, amazing boyfriend, Matthew. Matthew and I have been together since February 2, 2011, and I know this sounds ridiculous to say already, but he is it for me. I have never been so taken by someone in my life, and before you say, "Oh it's just the honeymoon period, it'll wear off," let me tell you about Matthew: I told him on our third date, February 4th, that I was considering becoming a surrogate for Kira & Scott. I told him about my own loss the previous Fall. And what did Matthew say? Did he back off, never call me again, tell me he wasn't ready for this kind of craziness? No. Not even a little.
Matthew said he thought this was a wonderful thing for me to do for someone else, one of the most generous things I could do, and he believed I should do it because it really sounded like I felt good about it. He said, "I'll take care of you. I'll bring you peanut butter and pickles or whatever you're craving." I warned him that when I had been pregnant before, I had been a bitch. The thing is, I knew I was being a bitch, and I hated it about myself, but there was nothing I could do about it. I just tried really hard not to snap at people, to keep my angry remarks in my own head. "Well just try to take it easy on me, ok?" he asked gently.
Last Friday, when I took Kira to have another test, Matthew texted me throughout, asking how Kira was doing, what the results were, how things looked for all of us.
So yeah, now what? You're going to tell me it's one thing for him to sound so supportive now, another thing for him to follow through, right? But you know what? I don't doubt him for a minute.
Also, he's willing to go out with me in public while I'm wear the shirt shown above.
Admit it. You're jealous.
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